


If Only You Could Love Me Too

by newnole



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22931494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newnole/pseuds/newnole
Summary: Buck is love with Eddie, but he is not sure if he should say anything. A new girl starts at the 118, Eddie and her hit it off from the start. Will Buck be able to get his man?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 180





	If Only You Could Love Me Too

Everything has been going great since Christmas. It has been 2 months of pre-lawsuit and pre-tsunami, even back to the way things were before the whole 'Fire Truck Crushing My Leg' incident.  Everyone was happy. Eddie and Buck were growing closer everyday. Buck was so happy that he thought nothing could ruin their relation-err, well more like friendship. Even though Buck really wanted more with Eddie.

However, he could not put that pressure on Eddie. Even though some days it felt like if he should just shove Eddie against the wall and devoured his mouth in what would be an amazing kiss then they could stop dancing around each other. 

Buck knew Eddie would stare at him with come hither eyes some days when he was doing something to show off his amazing physique and body. The days that Buck was playing with Christopher were the days that Eddie would practically have heart shaped eyes for his boys. Buck was not sure if he wants more than what they already have.

Buck was just too scared to say anything. He did not want to jeopardize his already happy friendship with Eddie. Things were better off if they just stayed as friends, nothing more. Maybe that is why when the new recruit, Dana, would practically hang off every word Eddie would say, Buck could help but feel both angry and hurt at the same time.

Buck had no right to stop Eddie from becoming friends with Dana. He knew what it was like to be the 'new guy' and did not want Dana to feel unwelcome. If only she would not look at Eddie like he was a piece of meat, even though Buck sometimes did exactly the same thing. 

However, when they started hanging outside of work and Eddie would decline hanging out with Buck to spend time with Dana is when Buck knew he made a mistake. He should have confessed his feelings for Eddie. It is obvious Eddie had a thing for Dana. Dana had no problem reciprocating the same desire for more. 

Buck was such a fool. He missed his chance at what could have been an amazing relationship. However, he could not begrudge his best friend a chance to be happy. Even though it would not be with him. He decided that giving Eddie and Dana space to form a stable relationship was the best for everyone, especially Buck. 

Skipping on hanging out with Eddie alone, not sitting next to him during their team meals and distancing himself was the best and hardest decision that Buck has had to make in a long time. Buck did not want to be the reason that Eddie and Dana would not work. Even though a part of him wanted it to not work out at all.

\----------

Coming in to work some days was beyond difficult. Buck was tired, even though he had the last two days off. He could not get much sleep. His brain would not stop thinking about everything, well mostly would not stop thinking about Eddie. Some vivid dreams led to waking up horny. Others led to him feeling sad about the way things have been. He misses Eddie. Who knew that you can feel alone even when you had so many people in your life. 

The past three months since Eddie and Dana have become a 'thing' have been hard for Buck. He could barely perform his job and everyone has noticed, including Dana. He was completing his last chore before the end of his shift when he forgot one area to clean up that he was assigned. 

He walked over to the supply closet when he heard some people talking. Once he was close he could decipher that it was Eddie and Dana. He decided it was best to wait a few minutes but after hearing his name he could not help but become curious.

"I don't know Dana, what can I do to get his attention?" Eddie stated. "It feels like he doesn't care anymore. I try to get his attention but he just walks away or ignores me. I wish I knew what I did wrong." Eddie was on the verge of crying yet again. 

Dana replied with "oh Eddie, you did nothing wrong. From what I heard about Buck he has always been kind and caring. I don't know why he has become distant from all of us." 

Buck did not realize that his behaviour has been felt by everyone. He thought he was doing the considerate thing. How stupid he thought he could make this easy on everyone. He truly is not worth it. Maybe he should confront...maybe that would not work. Maybe it is time to ask Maddie for advice on what to do? Yeah, that is perfect! 

Buck walks away before they could catch him eavesdropping on their conversation. He goes to his locker to get his phone to text Maddie. After a few minutes of confirming time and place (her own apartment obviously) they had a Buckley Night schedule three days from now. 

\----------

Buck knocks on Maddie's door with pizza and beer in hand. He got dinner and she was going to have a good movie for them to watch. They have not been able to do this in a while. Spend some quality sibling time together. He was excited and nervous. 

The door opens and Buck sees his sister's gleaming smile as his greeting. He instantly feels better. "Hey Mads, how are you?" Asks Buck as he steps through the door. "I am good. Glad the week is over and I have a couple days off from work. How are you?" Maddie replies. "I'm okay. Glad we are getting some time together. It has been too long." Buck says in return. "It really has been. We should ask them to match our schedules so we can actually spend time together." Buck laughs on agreement. 

The siblings get caught up and enjoy their time. Three hours later and finishing off the movie after eating prompts Buck to ask for advice. "Maddie, I have something to ask you if you don't mind?" Buck states nervously. "Of course baby brother, I am always here for you. What can I help you with?" Maddie replies, which helps calm Buck's beating heart. He then proceeds to tell Maddie about his feelings and the last few months. 

"I don't know what to do. Eddie is important to me and I don't want to continue with making everyone feel as if I don't want to interact with them. I just don't want to have to see them together. It breaks my heart a little more everyday that I see them together." Buck says as he finishes telling her the story. He could tell she needed a few moments to collect her thoughts. "Buck you are a great person and I love you, but what makes you think Eddie does not feel the same for you? You have not even asked and assume they are together. What I think would be the best course of action is to take some time over the next few days to really search your heart. Make a decision and be at peace with it. I would love to see you both together, you are great for each other, but whatever you decide is the choice you will have to live with." Maddie says with only concern and love in her eyes. 

Buck could not agree more. He needs to make up his mind and stick with a plan of action. Buck hugs his sister and decides to return to his apartment since he has a shift tomorrow evening. Buck arrives at his apartment and notices Eddie's truck is in a visitor spot. Buck couldn't help but ask himself what could bring Eddie here so late. 

Buck goes to his apartment hoping that is waiting outside for him and hope he has not been waiting too long. He doesn't see him out the front door and remembers that he gave Eddie a key last year to his apartment. Once a Buck opens his door and does not see that Eddie is waiting inside he thinks to himself 'weird where could Eddie be?' Hoping that Eddie is okay and will come to him when he is ready Buck gets ready for bed. Little did he know Dana had just got an apartment in the same complex as Buck. Eddie was with Dana in her apartment and has been there for the last several hours.

Realizing that Eddie won't show up anytime soon after waiting 2 hours Buck decides that it is time to go to bed that way he is not too tired for work tomorrow. Buck tosses and turns throughout the night getting very little sleep. Buck decides that it is a brand new day and that he should seek out Eddie so they can talk about how things have been the last few months. It is a time for a heart to heart. 

\----------

Buck arrives to work a little early hoping to get the chance to talk with Eddie but can't find him anywhere. Buck decides to go talk to Bobby and ask him if Eddie was working today and where he might be if yes. 

"Hey Bobby is Eddie on shift today?" asks Buck once he finds Bobby in his office. "Hey Buck, yeah he is supposed to be here in about 30 minutes I believe. At least that is when his shift is supposed to start." Bobby tells him. "Okay, thanks and hello by the way!" Buck states cheerfully. 

Buck decides to wait for Eddie near the entrance, hoping to catch him when he comes in and get a moment of his time. He sees him and instantly smiles but stops when he notices Eddie and Dana are holding hands as they walk. They are caught in their own world. Buck is hurt and sad, he missed his chance and now they look happy together. But decides to go upstairs and hang out with the others to give them their privacy. Buck goes upstairs and gets lost in his thoughts noticing that in Hen and Chim ask him how he is. Buck replies noncommittally with a "I'm fine. You guys?" He does not pay attention to their responses. Too wrapped up in his own thoughts. 

Buck realizes that he is too late and there's nothing he can do. He decides it's best to just let it go and move on with his life. Hopefully one day his heart can find another to love, but in the meantime he'll just have to feel the hurt. He has gotten over other people before. The alarm rings and he jumps into action with the rest of the team. 

\----------

A few months have passed and things have gotten back to normal. Well, mostly normal. Buck has gotten over his broken heart, well he is trying to at least. He is happy for Eddie and grew to like Dana. She is kind and funny. Buck has tried to date and meet other people. Nothing seems to stick. He knows why, he is still in love with Eddie. Even though they have not been close as they once were Buck still makes time to hang out with Christopher. Typically he takes Chris off Eddie's hands because it is too hard to be around Eddie and not want to express his emotions. He would not be the cause of ending their relationship. 

Eddie stops by Buck's apartment one day and asks to talk to him. Buck can't find an excuse to avoid him so he agrees to be at his place once Eddie is done with his shift later. 

Buck patiently waits for Eddie to come to his place so they can talk. What seems like hours really only being about 45 minutes, but here's a knock at the door. He opens up to see Eddie alone, there's no Dana or Christopher with him. Buck gets a sinking feeling in his stomach that this is not good.

"Hey man, where is Christopher and Dana? hey wasn't aware it was going to be the two of us hanging out tonight." Buck says in lieu of a traditional greeting. Eddie doesn't really say anything but steps through the doorway either way. Buck can't help feel like he did something wrong. 

Eddie pauses and then says something that shocks Buck. "I don't know what happened. Maybe I said something or did something, but I miss you Buck. I miss my best friend." Buck was at a loss for words. He was not expecting that at all.

“Eddie, I am sorry, but I did not want to be a third wheel for you to consider or feel the need to include me when you were with Dana. I know you are trying after Shannon, so i thought it was best that i allowed for you two to have time for each other. I had I know that you still wanted me around, then I would not have been so distant.” Buck states while trying to avoid talking about his true feelings. He did not notice Eddie coming closer to him.

“Buck, I don’t know why you think you would be a third wheel. Dana and I are just friends. Nothing more, she actually grew up not too far from where I lived as a kid. She moved to LA after a bad break up and needed a friend.” Eddie explains to Buck more about what has been happening to Dana, from her ex showing up and stalking her a while, then finding out her grandmother passed away. Eddie was a friend to Dana when she really needed someone. It also helped that she was there for him as he resolved his own emotional state. 

Buck was surprised to hear about this. He really was out of the loop for sometime. “So, you and her are just friends, nothing more?” Buck asks hopefully. Eddie replies with a smile forming “yeah, I faked being with her one day when her ex showed up at the station to throw him off. The guy could not understand that she was no longer in love with him.” Eddie explained how Dana had left primarily because she fell in love with a co-worker and did not want to stay with him. The guy could not understand that his girlfriend was over him. Eddie was truly one of the nicest people out. “Eddie, you are amazing and it is no wonder I am so in love with you!” Buck exclaims, only realizing what he said out loud. 

Eddie stared at him in shock. “Wait, you love me? You are in love with me?” He asks incredulously. Buck stares at him and says “shit, I didn't mean to tell you that. Please, just forget I said anything. It does not matter. This won’t change anything, we can still be friends if you want or not.” Eddie cuts him off with a passionate kiss. “What if I want to be more than friends? What would you say if I were to tell you that I love you too?” Buck is suprised, yet again. He never thought he could have anything more than friendship with Eddie. Still in shock, Buck did not know how to respond. The only thing that made sense was to kiss Eddie back with all the love he could put into the kiss. Eddie responds with just as much passion.

\----------

Six months later and Buck is happy as he ever could be. He has his best friend, Christopher, to his right and lover, Eddie, to his left. They are enjoying a great movie after a wonderful dinner. Buck still wakes up in Eddie’s arms everyday not believing that this is reality. It still feels like a dream. A wonderful and amazing dream he would remain in for the rest of time. He wonders when will it be the right time to take the ring out of his pocket and ask Eddie a very important question. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for this pair. I was not going to write so much, but it just took on a life of it's own. Please let me know if there are any mistakes. I hope you enjoyed the story!


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